


Beta-blocker me, Bitch.

by TheAstronomer



Series: Tom Hardy Likes To Flirt. [1]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hardy - Fandom
Genre: F/M, FUCK ME IT'S TOM HARDY, Goofy Tom Hardy, Short One Shot, Subtle Attraction undercurrent, Sweary Tom Hardy, Tom Hardy Likes To Flirt, Tom Hardy's Shoe Thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 21:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10999785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAstronomer/pseuds/TheAstronomer
Summary: Tom Hardy visits his doctor.I've had this pinging around in my brain for days. Bit weird really but there you go. Hope people enjoy it.I'm not suggesting Tom Hardy goes around flirting with random women ;)I might do some more Tom Hardy visits... if inspiration hits me.





	Beta-blocker me, Bitch.

Tom sat low in the uncomfortable chair in the waiting room, a cap pulled down over his face. He thought about keeping his sunglasses on but he knew he'd just look like a total knob. Plus it would only draw attention to him. He was in a fucking doctor’s waiting room for fuck's sake! So he stuck them on top of his hat. _Just don’t make eye contact. Just not today, ok?_

His fingers rat-a-tatted on the arm of the chair and his legs, ankle of one propped on knee of other, jiggled and shifted constantly. He was in constant motion, _a bloody perpetual motion machine, or whatever the fuck they’re called._ He peered at the ceiling, trying to remember what they **were**  called. The old boy in beige and a flat cap sitting across from him gave him a sour look. It was just them in the room, thank fuck. Tom returned him a beaming smile. _EYE CONTACT!_ Really he just wanted to channel Freddie Jackson and bellow ‘Awright Grandad!’ before knocking him out. _No no NO, come on now hold it together Hardy, it’ll be your turn next, you impatient bastard._

Tom's eyes drifted around the room, the information posters peeling on the wall, the dog-eared magazines and grubby kids toys. It’d been years since he’d been at the docs but something had to give...

‘Edward Hardy?’

He looked up, there was a figure in the doorway across the room. He jumped up instantly. _Times like this it's useful to have the old middle-name-as-first-name scenario, thank you mum and dad._

‘I’m Dr. Gardiner,’ said the tall woman. ‘If you’d like to come with me.’ She smiled pleasantly. _FUCK ME, IT'S TOM HARDY!_ ‘My room is just here..’

He followed her, with a slightly bow-legged gait, keeping his head ducked low purely out of habit. _Ooh nice fucking heels!_ She was wearing some cracking shoes, quite a high narrow heel and pointed, shiny black. Pencil skirt, silky shirt. He raised an eyebrow. _Come on Tom, you’re at the Doctors. Don’t fucking start with the flirting._

Dr Gardiner indicated the seat across from hers in the room. _Thank God I found this amazing bargain of a shirt in TK Maxx, I feel bloody great in it._

‘So how can I help you, To... Mr Hardy?’

She leaned forward, rubbed the arm of her silk shirt absent-mindedly. Two spots of colour had appeared high on her cheekbones.

 _Oh she bloody knows who I am. Fucking hell. Well here comes the crunch anyway. Just fucking spit it out._  Tom frowned. He took his cap off. He put it on again. Took it off once more and rubbed his hand over his head, scrubbed at his beard with fingers and finally placed the hat on the desk and stared hard at it.

‘Umm, I’m sort of struggling with how to word it...’ He glanced at her in a sort of appeal, his lips pressed together in an embarrassed looking half smile. He was horrified to realise he had a lump in his throat and tears were lurking painfully behind his eyelids. _For Fuck's sake_!

Dr Gardiner recognised a desperate patient on the verge of tears from a mile off these days. _Oh Jesus, not a STD! I will have to run screaming from the building_! _I just can't examine Tom Hardy's cock!_ ‘Just try to describe it in simple words, if it helps’ she coaxed gently. ‘Take your time, it’s ok.’ She smiled again and waited patiently. _What actual colour **are** his eyes? Hazel, green, brown?_

‘I have a very busy head.’ His face was down again, eyes darting around. ‘It’s ... ah.. busier than normal of late. In fact, I can’t stop it. Worrying.’

His legs had started their agitated dance again, jittering around in the chair. He looked down at them and then indicated their relentless motion to her apologetically.

‘And this...’ Pointed with both forefingers at the offending limbs, pulled a goofy face. The tears had subsided again and he felt on safer ground. There was something comforting about her, she was good at just listening ... his eyes fell on her shoes again _: and her shoes were fucking amazing._ He managed a weak grin.

‘How long have you been feeling like this?’

‘Ohhh ..it’s kind of who I am. But worse like this for a while. A few months maybe.’ His voice was low. His eye contact was getting better she noticed. He’s opening up a bit. Time to get to the nitty gritty with it.

‘Ok. Any physical symptoms? Like racing heart, adrena....’

‘Adrenaline rushes?’ he finished. ‘Yeah, funny breathing, clammy hands, heart going like the bloody clappers. Oh yes. Yes. But my bloody head, my mind.. I wake up at 2 in the morning or I can’t get to sleep and I have either the most horrific stuff going round in it or I have song stuff, lyrics...arrgh' He uttered a soft strangled cry and to Dr Gardiner's bewilderment broke out into a surprisingly competent rap:

‘You you can't can't be ripping the mic the mic like do re me me Measles are contagious like my lyrical pages Ripping and flipping the mic From back in the back in the days, these days it's kinda hectic, hectic When these suckers don't respect it, check it...’ He faltered, noticing her confused face. _What are you playing at Hardy!?_

‘Sorry. I’m not normally such a twat. I do have a funny head though. I think it comes of being an addict.’ He glanced at her sharply. ‘I’m clean though. Have been for years. But it’s a mentality isn’t it?’ He tapped the side of his head.

 _Well, and to think I thought today was going to be dull_.

‘So you know this is anxiety I’m guessing?’

Tom nodded. ‘Had it as a teenager.’

‘When is it worse, any particular situations?’

‘Just thinking about.. things. The bad things in the world. My kids, family. Work sometimes.’

‘The world's a bit scary at the moment, yeah. I tell my kids to look for the people doing good. They’re always there.’

They were both silent for a moment.

‘Anyway, you’re not coming across as depressed. Is that a fair analysis? Do you feel you have low mood? Any suicidal or self harming thoughts?’

‘No,’ he stated decisively.

‘Stressful job you have really.’ _No point pretending I don’t know. Be cool about it though, for Christ's sake._

‘Nah! It’s just face pulling.’ He made a dismissive gesture. ‘S' not difficult really. Like yours is.’

‘No. Don’t downplay it. It’s hugely stressful being under scrutiny like that all the time. Especially for an anxious person.’

Tom nodded but didn’t answer. He looked at her closely. _Nice eyes, too. Kind. Oh, her blouse is gaping a little bit. Fuuuck me._

‘So there are a few options. I could refer you for CBT. That’s cognitive behavioural therapy. I could prescribe an anti-depressant which is also known to have anti-anxiety properties..or we could try beta-blockers.’

‘I’ve had CBT. I can pay for that again. Not keen on the anti depressant option.’

‘No. Beta-blockers are safe and non-addictive. They work by blocking the physical symptoms of anxiety. They stop adrenaline being produced in the Amygdala region of the brain and creating that unpleasant fight or flight sensation when you don’t actually need it.’ _Fucking check me being all professional with Tom fucking Hardy hanging on every word I say!_

‘Beta-blocker me bitch! Hur-hur!,’ he giggled. His eyes widened. ‘Oh shit sorry! Sorry! It's a play on words! It's from... whatsit..did you see it?'

'It's ok I know.'

Dr Gardiner smiled widely at him. _Christ, he was a bit of a goofy twat really, in an endearing kind of way_.

‘Give them a go. 3 times a day maximum. Get a refresher on CBT. Meditate or Mindfulness if you can.’ Her kind eyes crinkled at him.

He smiled back at her properly then, full beam wonky-toothed grin.  _Holy fuck!_ His eyes slid down to her shoes again, and hers following his this time, slightly puzzled.  _Err... what's he looking at?.. Oh._ Eyes meet. Both sets of eyes jump away.

* * *

 

Tom pulled on his cap and sunglasses. He was clutching the prescription in his hand. _God bless the fucking NHS and all who sail in her_ , he thought. _And God bless those fucking shoes_. He grinned as he pushed open the door to the pharmacy.

In her office, Dr Gardiner sighed. ‘Fucking hell,’ she muttered. _He was totally checking her shoes out_.

She smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics are from KRS-ONE 'Hip hop vs Rap.'


End file.
